My Life as a Dance Instructor

How I went from dance instructor to sex coach…

Dancing with one of my all-time-favorite partners in Poughkeepsie, 2010.
Dancing Waltz after a ballroom showcase at Vassar College in Poughkeepsie, 2010.

After dancing in undergrad, I took a job as a ballroom dance instructor thinking it was a temporary gig on my way to becoming a curator at a natural history museum (yes, really!).  I didn’t set out to climb the social dance ladder at all.  I just fell in love with teaching!  Within a couple of years, I was teaching and performing all over North America in an array of styles.

Performing in Oakland, CA, January 2012
Performing a Hip-Hop instructor demo at the San Francisco Fusion Exchange, January 2012. Back injury be damned!

While teaching at a big dance workshop is fun (and exhausting!), my favorite classes are private lessons with individuals and couples.  The intimate attention allows me to work on their specific goals, obstacles, and quirks; pretty soon a dance lesson becomes about so much more than steps.  As I wrote in my application to Widener University’s Human Sexuality program: “My private lessons with anxious wedding couples often morph into pre-marriage counseling sessions about mutual ego-building, listening, patience, and communication.  I treat ‘connection’ as a technique that students learn and practice….  My partner-dance classes double as training sessions on sexual etiquette: while practicing the steps, my students develop body awareness, self-confidence, and comfort with being vulnerable.”

Teaching a dance workshop in Philadelphia, February 2016
Teaching a Valentine’s Day Tango workshop in Philadelphia, February 2016

Grad school for Human Sexuality was nothing short of a personal upheaval.  Everything I thought I knew was chucked out the window and replaced with a more complex, broad, pluralistic view of sexuality.  I didn’t even realize how narrow my view was until I was already deep in the literature.  Ironically, the more I learned, the more strongly I came back to my first love: dance.  This time, I had a deeper and better understanding of my craft.  I’m fascinated by how we are socialized (based on gender, sex, class, race, religion) to move through a room, to walk, to stand, to touch ourselves and be touched and by whom, and of course, how we have sex.

I became a body-focussed Sex and Relationship coach because I believe that all the answers we need to live happy, sexy, loving, and connected lives lie under our very skin.  I act as a guide, witness, and dedicated support system to help you get in touch with yourself, and to live out your best sex life.

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